BOY ARE WE GETTING GUTSY!
For the first time in my life ever, along with 13 other close friends and family members, I tried out for a GAME SHOW! Boy what an experience! Its amazing the things you "never" think of doing until someone challenges you to do so, and once you've done it you wonder why you hadn't tried it sooner? We cheer on other contestants and other peoples families from our living rooms while watching your favorite game show. We're praying, hoping and wishing that they go home with as much as money and prizes as possible! We're excited, frustrated and disgusted depending on the outcome as though we know these people personally! If they make a mistake or display no common sense we say "Boy he or she is dumb, how could they make such a horrible mistake" If that were me I would've done much better!" We judge the people and the show but never really consider auditioning for the shows ourselves. To most every day citizens its fairy tail land, just entertainment for us. We either don't have time, don't know how to go about it, or think "oh I'll never make it" But, every since I served as a supporter on deal or no deal for my sister-n-law as well as trying out for this New game show on Fox, I think completely different when I'm watching these shows. Its a lot harder than it looks at home! There is so much pressure and nervousness that sometimes you can't even think as you usually would. Things that you know you know, just seem to leave your mind!!!!!!!! Because there's actually a real risk on the line. You aren't risking anything at home in your living room, you're not under any pressure to lose or win more money???? So of course its easier for you to make a decision! But let me tell you. When I went to the first audition on Saturday I experienced a feeling like no other. I gained a new respect for people who try out for these shows, make it, and do well! As I began to go through the first round of auditions I was nervous because, I didn't know what to expect? I'M THINKING I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M AT AN audition?? FOR ANYTHING? THIS IS WEIRD! I knew no matter what I did or said, it was up to them. They knew what they were looking for and they had to see that in me. So what are they looking for? If I didn't learn anything else from my ambitious game show hopping, always making a television debut, Sister Cheryl Jackson, I learned that producers love people who are excited! They love people with personality and passion!PRAISE THE LORD, I'M IN LUCK, I'VE BEEN NATURALLY BLESSED WITH AN EXCITING PERSONALITY!!!!! : )))) Now, how much or how little I show was the question? So, I think... "I don't want to go into overkill and they think I'm insane and I don't want to hold back either as to short change my self(that would make me feel really bad).
So what do I do? Child, I didn't figure that out until I was standing directly in front of these people asking me to Go! And when it was over they told me they would be calling me back for round Two!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy... It worked! I can't believe it, it worked. CJ knows what she's talking about(here resume is obvious). At the round two audtions on Sunday, I was not as nervous. I went in there being who Chan was at the ceiling of her excitement, I didn't whole anything back! I was my self, when I'm really excited? And I shared with them as much as I could think of while being put on the spot. (and if they didn't like that it was going to be too bad because that's who I was and it was all I knew to give considering the lateness of the hour)But they were laughing and they seemed to like me, so I felt good about the audtion. Later My Sister Cheryl told me I did an awesome job and they did really like me. I felt even better, and thought WOW, even if I don't make it I did it and it went well! Yes! Because of this experience I don't think I'll ever be afraid to try anything else. Thanks SIS! (STAY TUNED FOR PARTS TWO,THREE,FOUR, AND MAYBE FIVE)! BECAUSE THEY'VE ALREADY SENT MY CRAZY HUSBANDS AUDTION TAPE, AND MY CRAZY FRIENDS AUDITION TAPE TO LA, AND ITS BEING VIEWED BY THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our Church, Our Charity, Our Friends and Family could be very Rich in the next couple of months!!!!!!!!! Go God, Go!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
LET THEM DO THEIR JOBS!
These truly are the last days, people are getting weary, or tired should I say of waiting on God. Their tired of doing things his way, and what he's ordained for their lives. They've received his blessings in the past they've testified of his greatness, because it was evident that it was through no strength of their own. But when times got hard, when trials came to prove them for too long they wanted out, they stopped believing and begin to point the finger. At who you ask? Everyone both themselves and especially at God's messengers. We've always lived in a world where people won't take responsibility for themselves. I'm getting sick and tired of people blaming their Pastors for their own spiritual down falls. When people are on the mountain top spiritually and everything seems to be going their way, God and his leader can do no wrong. They constantly sing the praises of the church because things are going pretty good for them, or even okay. But take heed when a man's spiritual state begins to go dim, they no longer feel the need to testify, they are negative, or even non responsive in services, they've forgotten all the things that God has done for them. They've forgotten the words of prophecy from the leaders that have gone forth and come true , now all of a sudden nothings right. Nothings true, every thing's a lie, because they can't get their way. All of a sudden its the leaders fault, that they can't make it. They even start to doubt that God's word is true. The more the Leader delivers the word the more they despise it and its messanger, and they begin to find fault in everything they do. This ministry that they've grown under, the ministry that they've been delivered under and taught the real word of God under, even understood it and saw it work in their lives; all of a sudden it doesn't' make sense anymore, and they come to the conclusion that this can't be true. Its not effective for them because their vision is abscured through faithless eyes! How dare you?!!! You who are guilty of this, You can't deny what you've experienced in a Holy and God fearing church. Nothing can take your experience away from you, but Satan if you listen to the lies that he plant in your minds. You can't deny what you've received from God or his leaders. It is not our job to decide what our Pastor is or isn't doing right. God's job is to Judge our Pastors, our job is to follow and obey. Of course no one is bound if a leader is not teaching holy living according to God's word. But you know the Gospel that is being taught has sent deliverance in your lives, your growth has been tremendous in times past. God has elevated you and put you in a place that you could not have gotten on your own. But because you've neglected your soul, everything is the leaders fault, "Oh if they would just do their jobs then I could serve God freely!"(you say) What have you been doing all this time?? Hush up! And let them do their jobs, you have your own job to do. Did God call you to be a Pastor? Has he given you this flock? If not, then do your own job, and let the Pastor do theirs because on Judgment day, you'll only be required to give an account for yourself and the Leader its congregation. God will judge his leaders. If you find that you are finding more fault in your ministry, always seeking to change something that just isn't right, Start searching yourself to see what's different inside of you. Turn that pointed finger where it should be, and take it off your leader if you know your leader to be Good, Holy, and one that loves God and his people! Stop blaming them and let them do what God called them to do.
These truly are the last days, people are getting weary, or tired should I say of waiting on God. Their tired of doing things his way, and what he's ordained for their lives. They've received his blessings in the past they've testified of his greatness, because it was evident that it was through no strength of their own. But when times got hard, when trials came to prove them for too long they wanted out, they stopped believing and begin to point the finger. At who you ask? Everyone both themselves and especially at God's messengers. We've always lived in a world where people won't take responsibility for themselves. I'm getting sick and tired of people blaming their Pastors for their own spiritual down falls. When people are on the mountain top spiritually and everything seems to be going their way, God and his leader can do no wrong. They constantly sing the praises of the church because things are going pretty good for them, or even okay. But take heed when a man's spiritual state begins to go dim, they no longer feel the need to testify, they are negative, or even non responsive in services, they've forgotten all the things that God has done for them. They've forgotten the words of prophecy from the leaders that have gone forth and come true , now all of a sudden nothings right. Nothings true, every thing's a lie, because they can't get their way. All of a sudden its the leaders fault, that they can't make it. They even start to doubt that God's word is true. The more the Leader delivers the word the more they despise it and its messanger, and they begin to find fault in everything they do. This ministry that they've grown under, the ministry that they've been delivered under and taught the real word of God under, even understood it and saw it work in their lives; all of a sudden it doesn't' make sense anymore, and they come to the conclusion that this can't be true. Its not effective for them because their vision is abscured through faithless eyes! How dare you?!!! You who are guilty of this, You can't deny what you've experienced in a Holy and God fearing church. Nothing can take your experience away from you, but Satan if you listen to the lies that he plant in your minds. You can't deny what you've received from God or his leaders. It is not our job to decide what our Pastor is or isn't doing right. God's job is to Judge our Pastors, our job is to follow and obey. Of course no one is bound if a leader is not teaching holy living according to God's word. But you know the Gospel that is being taught has sent deliverance in your lives, your growth has been tremendous in times past. God has elevated you and put you in a place that you could not have gotten on your own. But because you've neglected your soul, everything is the leaders fault, "Oh if they would just do their jobs then I could serve God freely!"(you say) What have you been doing all this time?? Hush up! And let them do their jobs, you have your own job to do. Did God call you to be a Pastor? Has he given you this flock? If not, then do your own job, and let the Pastor do theirs because on Judgment day, you'll only be required to give an account for yourself and the Leader its congregation. God will judge his leaders. If you find that you are finding more fault in your ministry, always seeking to change something that just isn't right, Start searching yourself to see what's different inside of you. Turn that pointed finger where it should be, and take it off your leader if you know your leader to be Good, Holy, and one that loves God and his people! Stop blaming them and let them do what God called them to do.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
HARD/HEART ISSUE
Difficult Heart Issue:
I struggled some with what to name this entry, because I knew due to my own frustrations and confusion I could end up all over the place. I can't believe I'm even recording this in this blog because it’s really personal and I don't want to be judged wrongly for what I may say. But I've got to get it out, it may shed some light or help someone else find common ground in different areas of their life. So here goes!
I'm becoming very frustrated and very confused as to why My husband and I have not received our promise Child or Children yet? I know that some promises take longer than others and that there would be no need for faith if everything came to us as quickly as we asked or as quickly as it was promised. But waiting on the conception and the birth of these kids is really starting to become tiresome.(for me anyway) Darius and I have been married for almost 10 years and to my knowledge I have not once been pregnant. Sure, I know naturally speaking what problems could have prevented that. I've known for a while.
I'm a strong believer in what God can do! Nothing is too hard for him and if he can impregnate a virgin and send strength and conception to the womb of a 90 year old woman??? Come on? Why wouldn't I believe that he can bless me to conceive with NO HELP FROM THE DOCTORS. W hich is what I want more than anything. So I believe, which is all we're asked to do. Now, then there's the enduring faith, that long-suffering faith that says no matter how long it takes I'm gonna wait on the Lord. I feel I've done that, I've strengthen my self time and time again, I've stayed busy in the ministry, I've rejoiced with every single couple in that church that has had children and was not jealous, I was genuinely happy for them. I haven't worn out my Pastor with countless counseling sessions of why, why, why, and what's taking so long? I've just waited and talked with my spouse about it.
I convince my self that "Its just not my time yet, God's time is best and it is going to be something greater than what anyone could imagine" So I busy my self in the ministry and wait. Of course every single month when I get that awful visitor I'm reminded that the clock ticks on......Then God remembers me in various services and reminds me through our prophet that I will conceive and it will be soon! I am revived again!!! And then more time passes by and I think "that's okay…our timing is not his timing"...Then I get another reminder from the Prophet… Not many days hence and you will be giving us that testimony and I think yes! Here it comes, but also I’m thinking in the back of my mind.. "How many days from hence is that?" because not only am I waiting, others are watching me as well and asking me every other month. Anything yet? As they glance down at my belly? And I spin off my famous line, "You won't have to ask trust me." So I hold on to the words of the prophet, and the days of soon grow wider and wider. I think Lord how many days is soon to you? I know our timing is not the same but if you could at least give me big clue. I'm 31 years old. I have a lot of things going on in my life, and I deal with a lot. Sometimes I think well "Maybe you just aren't ready for kids, and God knows this better than I do?" Then I say, well thank you Lord and I press on. But then I do the big NO NO and say "well that couldn't be it, look at everyone else, they surely weren't ready for kids either and that didn't stop God from giving them children?" Then I shake my self once more and say, “God is a just God, He can't Lie.” He has no favorites.
“It must be us?” “We must be doing something to prolong this thing?” So I pray diligently and truthfully as I know how. I ask God to reveal if it’s us, and I hear nothing! Not from Him in my spirit or from our Pastor regarding that. So, I am definitely confused. I have no idea what's going on. I know these kids are coming but when? I look at the news and there is horror all around. Wars, horrible murders, unthinkable homicide acts, I mean everything the bible predicted would happen in the end times are happening right now! And on one hand I'm like "who wants to raise kids in this horrible world?"
And I think how long will I have my children 2, 6, 10 years? This world is so wicked, I feel he’s going to show up any day now?” But then I find my self still wanting my children. I feel that no matter how short the time I would've still experienced being a Mother to by-products of the love Darius, and I share for each other.
So as you can see I am in and out of weariness regarding this issue. I don't' know what to think, I'm confused at times, because I don't know how much longer, but I'd rather forget about it and be surprised, but that's hard to do considering the monthly reminders when I don't conceive. I could go to the doctors month after month and try to make something happen for my self but I really want to see God put those kids in there without me having to use infertility treatments, and I’d rather not deal with the stress that comes with that.
So if there’s anyone reading this that can get a prayer through to God pray for me! Sure I'm alright, I'm still happy, I'm a joyful person but for those moments of weakness I need someone else to be praying for me, besides me!
Difficult Heart Issue:
I struggled some with what to name this entry, because I knew due to my own frustrations and confusion I could end up all over the place. I can't believe I'm even recording this in this blog because it’s really personal and I don't want to be judged wrongly for what I may say. But I've got to get it out, it may shed some light or help someone else find common ground in different areas of their life. So here goes!
I'm becoming very frustrated and very confused as to why My husband and I have not received our promise Child or Children yet? I know that some promises take longer than others and that there would be no need for faith if everything came to us as quickly as we asked or as quickly as it was promised. But waiting on the conception and the birth of these kids is really starting to become tiresome.(for me anyway) Darius and I have been married for almost 10 years and to my knowledge I have not once been pregnant. Sure, I know naturally speaking what problems could have prevented that. I've known for a while.
I'm a strong believer in what God can do! Nothing is too hard for him and if he can impregnate a virgin and send strength and conception to the womb of a 90 year old woman??? Come on? Why wouldn't I believe that he can bless me to conceive with NO HELP FROM THE DOCTORS. W hich is what I want more than anything. So I believe, which is all we're asked to do. Now, then there's the enduring faith, that long-suffering faith that says no matter how long it takes I'm gonna wait on the Lord. I feel I've done that, I've strengthen my self time and time again, I've stayed busy in the ministry, I've rejoiced with every single couple in that church that has had children and was not jealous, I was genuinely happy for them. I haven't worn out my Pastor with countless counseling sessions of why, why, why, and what's taking so long? I've just waited and talked with my spouse about it.
I convince my self that "Its just not my time yet, God's time is best and it is going to be something greater than what anyone could imagine" So I busy my self in the ministry and wait. Of course every single month when I get that awful visitor I'm reminded that the clock ticks on......Then God remembers me in various services and reminds me through our prophet that I will conceive and it will be soon! I am revived again!!! And then more time passes by and I think "that's okay…our timing is not his timing"...Then I get another reminder from the Prophet… Not many days hence and you will be giving us that testimony and I think yes! Here it comes, but also I’m thinking in the back of my mind.. "How many days from hence is that?" because not only am I waiting, others are watching me as well and asking me every other month. Anything yet? As they glance down at my belly? And I spin off my famous line, "You won't have to ask trust me." So I hold on to the words of the prophet, and the days of soon grow wider and wider. I think Lord how many days is soon to you? I know our timing is not the same but if you could at least give me big clue. I'm 31 years old. I have a lot of things going on in my life, and I deal with a lot. Sometimes I think well "Maybe you just aren't ready for kids, and God knows this better than I do?" Then I say, well thank you Lord and I press on. But then I do the big NO NO and say "well that couldn't be it, look at everyone else, they surely weren't ready for kids either and that didn't stop God from giving them children?" Then I shake my self once more and say, “God is a just God, He can't Lie.” He has no favorites.
“It must be us?” “We must be doing something to prolong this thing?” So I pray diligently and truthfully as I know how. I ask God to reveal if it’s us, and I hear nothing! Not from Him in my spirit or from our Pastor regarding that. So, I am definitely confused. I have no idea what's going on. I know these kids are coming but when? I look at the news and there is horror all around. Wars, horrible murders, unthinkable homicide acts, I mean everything the bible predicted would happen in the end times are happening right now! And on one hand I'm like "who wants to raise kids in this horrible world?"
And I think how long will I have my children 2, 6, 10 years? This world is so wicked, I feel he’s going to show up any day now?” But then I find my self still wanting my children. I feel that no matter how short the time I would've still experienced being a Mother to by-products of the love Darius, and I share for each other.
So as you can see I am in and out of weariness regarding this issue. I don't' know what to think, I'm confused at times, because I don't know how much longer, but I'd rather forget about it and be surprised, but that's hard to do considering the monthly reminders when I don't conceive. I could go to the doctors month after month and try to make something happen for my self but I really want to see God put those kids in there without me having to use infertility treatments, and I’d rather not deal with the stress that comes with that.
So if there’s anyone reading this that can get a prayer through to God pray for me! Sure I'm alright, I'm still happy, I'm a joyful person but for those moments of weakness I need someone else to be praying for me, besides me!
Friday, July 07, 2006
COME ON...DO IT FOR ME!
Our Pastor has been speaking a lot lately on becoming a servant. In this world the title "Servant" comes with a lot of negativity. No one wants to be seen as a servant or to be associated with lowliness, but they want to be seen as a high roller or some one of great status. Unfortunately, in America servants are not treated as they should be, in most cases they're looked down on because they choose to serve or maybe its the only job they can find at the time. But how blind are we? I was reading In the book of Genesis where Rebecca took it upon her self to serve an out of town King. And not only did she serve him she started serving the Camels he rode in on! Because of this act the King didn't see her are some lowly servant girl that was good for nothing but that. He didn't ask her to do this, and went why out of her way to serve him. This spoke very loud about her character and it proved that she was a very strong Woman. To be Humble means to be submissive, and in order to be submissive means you are a strong person. Because you are in control of your emotions and your flesh and many people can't say that. Unfortunately in America, and I"m sure in some other countries if you submit it sends the message of weakness or fear but this is not always the case! Anyone can lash out, anyone can degrade others to make themselves feel better anyone can boast or flaunt! But it takes a strong and kind person to be a submissive and to serve. Jesus showed this same kindness with his disciples when he offered to wash their feet. They forbid him to do it because of who he was but Jesus insisted. He said it is necessary that I wash your feet. I'm setting an example, what I do for you, you do for each other and he also told them they could have no part with him, if he did not do this! Needless to say they quickly had a change of heart. I'm beginning to learn more and more that what we do for others we do for God. It will be much easier for us to serve if we count it as a deed done unto the Lord. Now some people are easy to serve because they are sweet,caring, and giving, they have a great attitude.. so its not hard for most of us to serve people like this. But there are going to be people that we loathe serving because they expect it and look down on us for doing it. But I can hear God "saying come on! Can you not do it for me!" "I am the person that died for you, the person that is giving you eternal life, the person that's forgiven you time and time again. I love you, do it for me" And in seeing God and not the person so much, I believe we can be victorious. This will also help us to see people as God sees them. We are to love everyone as Christs does. By serving people it will help us to witness and minister to them, and even save some through our service. We probably can't see all the benefits, that serving others may have. But I know its doing us more good than we know! I'm convinced that it builds character, love, humility, and the ability to yield. Serving puts us in a greater light than we may realize and when we do it as unto the Lord, we can have joy in it! I pray daily that God helps all of us sto become natural Servants, because this is pleasing to Our Lord and Saviour...
Our Pastor has been speaking a lot lately on becoming a servant. In this world the title "Servant" comes with a lot of negativity. No one wants to be seen as a servant or to be associated with lowliness, but they want to be seen as a high roller or some one of great status. Unfortunately, in America servants are not treated as they should be, in most cases they're looked down on because they choose to serve or maybe its the only job they can find at the time. But how blind are we? I was reading In the book of Genesis where Rebecca took it upon her self to serve an out of town King. And not only did she serve him she started serving the Camels he rode in on! Because of this act the King didn't see her are some lowly servant girl that was good for nothing but that. He didn't ask her to do this, and went why out of her way to serve him. This spoke very loud about her character and it proved that she was a very strong Woman. To be Humble means to be submissive, and in order to be submissive means you are a strong person. Because you are in control of your emotions and your flesh and many people can't say that. Unfortunately in America, and I"m sure in some other countries if you submit it sends the message of weakness or fear but this is not always the case! Anyone can lash out, anyone can degrade others to make themselves feel better anyone can boast or flaunt! But it takes a strong and kind person to be a submissive and to serve. Jesus showed this same kindness with his disciples when he offered to wash their feet. They forbid him to do it because of who he was but Jesus insisted. He said it is necessary that I wash your feet. I'm setting an example, what I do for you, you do for each other and he also told them they could have no part with him, if he did not do this! Needless to say they quickly had a change of heart. I'm beginning to learn more and more that what we do for others we do for God. It will be much easier for us to serve if we count it as a deed done unto the Lord. Now some people are easy to serve because they are sweet,caring, and giving, they have a great attitude.. so its not hard for most of us to serve people like this. But there are going to be people that we loathe serving because they expect it and look down on us for doing it. But I can hear God "saying come on! Can you not do it for me!" "I am the person that died for you, the person that is giving you eternal life, the person that's forgiven you time and time again. I love you, do it for me" And in seeing God and not the person so much, I believe we can be victorious. This will also help us to see people as God sees them. We are to love everyone as Christs does. By serving people it will help us to witness and minister to them, and even save some through our service. We probably can't see all the benefits, that serving others may have. But I know its doing us more good than we know! I'm convinced that it builds character, love, humility, and the ability to yield. Serving puts us in a greater light than we may realize and when we do it as unto the Lord, we can have joy in it! I pray daily that God helps all of us sto become natural Servants, because this is pleasing to Our Lord and Saviour...
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