Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I've obviously been on hiatus??????? TWO MONTHS SINCE I'VE POSTED THAT'S PRETTY BAD. I don't know I just couldn't get my self to write much of anyTHING ANYWHERE. I've been in a serious.......I don't know what to call it? Anyway, a lot as you can imagined has taken place in two months. I'm actually scheduled to go into surgery tomorrow, again for the 4 or 5 time. I'm really growing tired of having surgeries I'm ready to be normal now. For the last couple months I'd been having some awkard pains, along with some other weird stuff happening that I won't mention. I Finally decided to go back to the doctor and they told me that I'd developed a rather large cist in my uterus along with a new fibroid to accompany the others that seem to not want to go away. And I'm thinking okay God, I can really stand to see that miracle right about.....NOW. I thought I guess today isn't the the day that I find out everything has dissappeared and I am fine! I don't understand why I've had such difficulties in this area I've gone through so much. All I can do is believe God every step of the way and trust that this is for a greater purpose one that I will be glad to see the revelation of real soon. This is November and I'm expecting to be pregnant by the end of the year. I know I need a miracle, because with the doctors going in tomorrow and cutting me this could take my recovery into the time when I should be getting pregnant. I know God can do anything. I know that this is almost over. I've been really toughing it out and I believe Gods word when it says he won't put more on you than you're able to bare. I also hold fast to Romans 8:28, all things worked together for good, to them that love the lord, those that are called according to his purpose. I have no choice but to believe that all this is working out for my good. I've come too far in this faith walk and I can't afford to mess up now. I know God is honoring my faith and when this is finally over, when God finally reveals why I had to go through all of this for so long, it will be as though the pain I've gone through and the time I've waited was nothing at all.