Church today was good. It started out with me being in pain and ended with me being in pain , physically that is. But Church was still good. I was asked to teach the infant and pre-k Sunday School class for the second week in a row. I really enjoy those kids they are all so wonderful and they know more than what many adults will give them credit for. As the kids begin to come in I sat in a chair against the wall and smiled and talked with other adults that were standing near by. I tried to appear normal but it was very hard. The pain in my lower abdomen was very distracting. It felt like stabbing, throbbing,aching pain and it was not letting up. It was hard for me to ignore it. I thought God how do I teach? How can I be me? How can I get up enough energy and physical strength to teach and play with these babies today? I’m in pain! But, I thought what else is new? I’m tired of being the sick chick and self pity isn’t pretty. So, I tried not to complain even though I’m sure it was probably obvious that I wasn’t my usual self. Class soon began, and as always God stepped in and gave me what I needed to do my job. The pain didn’t leave, and I was still very much aware of it, but the needs of those kids were greater than what I was experiencing in my body. After the class was over it was time to go sing with my praise team group. My lower abdomen screaming..as I headed towards the pulpit area and grabbed my mic. I fought to appear normal, the music started and once again, God gave me what I needed to make it through singing in praise and worship. The pain wasn’t gone, I was well aware of it, but the need of the congregation, and my own need to praise God was more important. The painful truth is, the world doesn’t stop just because you have a problem. So what do you do? You can’t stop operating in the world or within your calling because you are in pain, and that’s mentally, emotionally, financially, or physically. You simply have to pray and trust God. But even though you’re aware of this truth it’s hard not to throw up your hands and say okay? I’m done! But, I know I can’t do that? What will the outcome be? It’s not crystal clear yet why I was chosen for this but, I’ve been chosen. And if it’s going to help anybody I guess I’ll have to go through it. I ask for God’s mercy and Grace often with tears streaming down my face. I often feel hopeless (even though I know its not true). No one understands, and if they did, there’s nothing they could do to change my situation. This is obviously between Me, and God. I’m glad we are on good terms. :)

Journey with From Inciid the Heart is beginning. Now that we've been chosen. We have to fulfill a fundraising commitment of 3000.00 before we can begin our cycles. My sister n law has her own non-profit and she's going to help us get started. We should have this knocked out in no time.

CHAN..(that's me!)IS FINALLY GOING TO BE A MOTHER! (This is my little cousin in this picture).
My husband and I are so excited,and so is our entire family..My husband received the call from Inciid the Heart last week that we were chosen for their Scholarship program that provides IVF treatment to infertile couples that can't afford it. This news was like a breach of light for us. Finally...a glimpse of light meaning we're almost at the end of the tunnel.. We submitted the application back in Nov 2006 and finally we have our answer. God is so Good, I give him All the Glory for this and I can't wait to see how this entire journey will play out. Go God Go!!!!

Without IT we're:

shallow
insensitive
boring
ignorant
fearful
useless, and
weak...

It can be, and is our greatest oppourtunity to become great in EVERYTHING....
It motivates, enlightens, it teaches patience, and endurance. It gives us compassion for others. Over time, it brings with it a increasing wisdom, unbelievealble strength, and courage; yet, we do not welcome it, most of us run from it, we cringe at the thought of it, and we associate it with pity and shame.

What is this most misunderstood, and prevelant commodity? Its called:

PAIN

We've all experienced it, in some form, some more than others> Our world is in no shortage of pain. Yet we fail to understand or take full advantage of what we can become if we embrace,learn,perservere,endure,and overcome while IN IT.

Why do we fear and complain about the things that will make us what we dream of becoming, and what we're destined to be?


2 corinthians 12:9 " for, My strength is made perfect, in weakness"