Church today was good. It started out with me being in pain and ended with me being in pain , physically that is. But Church was still good. I was asked to teach the infant and pre-k Sunday School class for the second week in a row. I really enjoy those kids they are all so wonderful and they know more than what many adults will give them credit for. As the kids begin to come in I sat in a chair against the wall and smiled and talked with other adults that were standing near by. I tried to appear normal but it was very hard. The pain in my lower abdomen was very distracting. It felt like stabbing, throbbing,aching pain and it was not letting up. It was hard for me to ignore it. I thought God how do I teach? How can I be me? How can I get up enough energy and physical strength to teach and play with these babies today? I’m in pain! But, I thought what else is new? I’m tired of being the sick chick and self pity isn’t pretty. So, I tried not to complain even though I’m sure it was probably obvious that I wasn’t my usual self. Class soon began, and as always God stepped in and gave me what I needed to do my job. The pain didn’t leave, and I was still very much aware of it, but the needs of those kids were greater than what I was experiencing in my body. After the class was over it was time to go sing with my praise team group. My lower abdomen screaming..as I headed towards the pulpit area and grabbed my mic. I fought to appear normal, the music started and once again, God gave me what I needed to make it through singing in praise and worship. The pain wasn’t gone, I was well aware of it, but the need of the congregation, and my own need to praise God was more important. The painful truth is, the world doesn’t stop just because you have a problem. So what do you do? You can’t stop operating in the world or within your calling because you are in pain, and that’s mentally, emotionally, financially, or physically. You simply have to pray and trust God. But even though you’re aware of this truth it’s hard not to throw up your hands and say okay? I’m done! But, I know I can’t do that? What will the outcome be? It’s not crystal clear yet why I was chosen for this but, I’ve been chosen. And if it’s going to help anybody I guess I’ll have to go through it. I ask for God’s mercy and Grace often with tears streaming down my face. I often feel hopeless (even though I know its not true). No one understands, and if they did, there’s nothing they could do to change my situation. This is obviously between Me, and God. I’m glad we are on good terms. :)

Journey with From Inciid the Heart is beginning. Now that we've been chosen. We have to fulfill a fundraising commitment of 3000.00 before we can begin our cycles. My sister n law has her own non-profit and she's going to help us get started. We should have this knocked out in no time.

CHAN..(that's me!)IS FINALLY GOING TO BE A MOTHER! (This is my little cousin in this picture).
My husband and I are so excited,and so is our entire family..My husband received the call from Inciid the Heart last week that we were chosen for their Scholarship program that provides IVF treatment to infertile couples that can't afford it. This news was like a breach of light for us. Finally...a glimpse of light meaning we're almost at the end of the tunnel.. We submitted the application back in Nov 2006 and finally we have our answer. God is so Good, I give him All the Glory for this and I can't wait to see how this entire journey will play out. Go God Go!!!!

Without IT we're:

shallow
insensitive
boring
ignorant
fearful
useless, and
weak...

It can be, and is our greatest oppourtunity to become great in EVERYTHING....
It motivates, enlightens, it teaches patience, and endurance. It gives us compassion for others. Over time, it brings with it a increasing wisdom, unbelievealble strength, and courage; yet, we do not welcome it, most of us run from it, we cringe at the thought of it, and we associate it with pity and shame.

What is this most misunderstood, and prevelant commodity? Its called:

PAIN

We've all experienced it, in some form, some more than others> Our world is in no shortage of pain. Yet we fail to understand or take full advantage of what we can become if we embrace,learn,perservere,endure,and overcome while IN IT.

Why do we fear and complain about the things that will make us what we dream of becoming, and what we're destined to be?


2 corinthians 12:9 " for, My strength is made perfect, in weakness"

"MISSING"

Today I was involved in a community outreach program that was sponsored by MiddleKauff Ford and My sister- n- law's Non profit org, The Giving Movement. Many parents came out with their children, to have them finger printed and have their photos taken in the event their children were to ever go missing. This process records their photos,(front and side profiles), with all of their information and a device that would alert the police immediately if their children were to ever turn up missing.

It's no surprise that children are Kidnapped, its been going on since I've been on this earth. But it has definitely gotten worse. Flat out scary even! Not only for children but for adults as well!(people are kidnapping grown folks left and right! I wanted to get my fingerprints done and photo taken?)

As I watched all the kids in line, I thought they were sooooo cute, adorable and playful, so innocent. God forbid that any of these kids were to come up missing. But the sad truth is, cute little children just like these go missing every minute of the day. God what a horrible feeling that must be for a parent. I can only imagine. Lord Jesus I pray that you put a hedge around our children. Please dispatch many angels to protect them from the evil works of satan. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tonight, we are having a party to sample a new burger for a contest that my husband decided to enter. It is an orginal burger receipe. I can't wait to hear the reviews from the contest, everyone loved the burger and I believe it will be a success with Emeril and his judging board. I am so proud of my husband he is such a hard worker and I know it won't be long before we are walking in the financial status that, God promised us. Come on God, we know the rain is coming and we are preparing.

Chan, Just Write!!
I know I should be beaten. I haven't blogged on this site since last year! Mostly because I couldn't remember my user name and password, nor did I take out the time to try and locate it?(sad) When I last wrote I was going into a major surgery or coming out of one, I can't remember but last year ended in pain. I started 2007 off very strong, all of my goals were neatly written out and some typed up. One of my biggest was to get my book finished and published within the first 90 days of this year ....Yea well, that has not happened? The first 2 months I was doing pretty good, I made some good dents into my book, but then I ran into editing issues and that slowed me down, then in March my Grandfather's illness he carried over from 06 had progressed, I went out to visit him and then two weeks after that he died! I loved my grandfather so much, he was like my Father the only "real" father I've ever had. Well that ordeal really set me back, not that I was over grieving or anything but the back and forth traveling from Texas to Mississippi in March brought my writing to a screeching halt! It started with me being uncomfortable traveling with my lap top(for fear I'd lose it or it would get stolen) So I didn't write most of March. After I finally stop dealing with that and returned back to Texas, it was very hard to get back into my groove. I didn't write for an entire month and couldn't find the motivation to get started again. Then whenever I did decide to start writing again, it was only a couple pages.. Nothing major..each month end that I approached without finish a chapter in my book I started to feel more and more like a failure. Of course I didn't beat my self up too much. My original goal was somewhat unrealistic? I didn't realize everything it would take to get this book finished, edited, and published. Editing was the main thing that slowed me down. I need a professional. I read up on Strunk and White's "The Element of Style" and I had my friend who's pretty good with editing help me with my intro and chapter 1. She did a great job but she is very busy and can not consistently dedicate the time needed to completely edit my book, I haven't pushed the issue either..because she has a family and she's very busy in other areas. So I decided I'd try to at least finish the book and worry about editing later. Good idea! It could work, if I could just get started. its been 2 months since I had that idea and I still haven't made much progress because I won't write! I want to, I just don't, I don't know what's wrong with me. All I can do is shake my head and pray for God's help in this matter." And the other thing that I can do is Just start typing? Just write! I know if I just write God will take care of the rest, so I'm making a vow starting tonight..that's right, I've decided just now, that I will write something in this book that God has given to me every single day. I don't care if its only 10 minutes! I have to get this done. No more procrastination and putting it off! I am 32 years old going on 33, I've got to get some things done! So My prayer is tonight that Lord "please place a joyful burden on my heart daily to write in this book so I can finish it before my birthday Nov. 6Th! And get this book published before the end of this year! Lord please open all the right doors for me concerning this, I know I can do nothing with out you so I ask for your favor and help in this matter every step of the way, also Lord I pray that you give me the "space" to finish writing this book for You. Please fill me with the your words anoint every page and let it be filled with convicting and loving messages directly from your throne to my mind, heart, and laptop and then the pages of that Book, so that many will be lead to your kingdom, I ask and believe this will be done,in Jesus name Amen!" I love journaling its a sure fire way to put writers block and procrastination on the run!

I've obviously been on hiatus??????? TWO MONTHS SINCE I'VE POSTED THAT'S PRETTY BAD. I don't know I just couldn't get my self to write much of anyTHING ANYWHERE. I've been in a serious.......I don't know what to call it? Anyway, a lot as you can imagined has taken place in two months. I'm actually scheduled to go into surgery tomorrow, again for the 4 or 5 time. I'm really growing tired of having surgeries I'm ready to be normal now. For the last couple months I'd been having some awkard pains, along with some other weird stuff happening that I won't mention. I Finally decided to go back to the doctor and they told me that I'd developed a rather large cist in my uterus along with a new fibroid to accompany the others that seem to not want to go away. And I'm thinking okay God, I can really stand to see that miracle right about.....NOW. I thought I guess today isn't the the day that I find out everything has dissappeared and I am fine! I don't understand why I've had such difficulties in this area I've gone through so much. All I can do is believe God every step of the way and trust that this is for a greater purpose one that I will be glad to see the revelation of real soon. This is November and I'm expecting to be pregnant by the end of the year. I know I need a miracle, because with the doctors going in tomorrow and cutting me this could take my recovery into the time when I should be getting pregnant. I know God can do anything. I know that this is almost over. I've been really toughing it out and I believe Gods word when it says he won't put more on you than you're able to bare. I also hold fast to Romans 8:28, all things worked together for good, to them that love the lord, those that are called according to his purpose. I have no choice but to believe that all this is working out for my good. I've come too far in this faith walk and I can't afford to mess up now. I know God is honoring my faith and when this is finally over, when God finally reveals why I had to go through all of this for so long, it will be as though the pain I've gone through and the time I've waited was nothing at all.

PROMISE KEPT

Today's Monday and this morning I didn't get out of bed until a half hour before I'm scheduled to leave for work! "Great", I tell my self. Not a good way to begin my week. Immediately I began to feel a tired and mundane spirit fall on me. In my mind, I'm thinking another Monday, another week, Lord help me I just want to stay at home. As I rush to get ready with only 10 minutes of prayer on my knees, I shook my head in disappointment, and then hurried out the door. As I backed out of my garage and began rushing up the street I looked up and notice that from one end of the sky to a point directly in front of me was the biggest, brightest, prettiest rainbow I had seen in a long time! "WoooooW, that's beautiful" I thought, while smiling, and waiting at the Red light. I paid more attention to this Rainbow today, more than I ever had in the past. There were three colors only, but very wide; the colorswere Blue, Mauve and Yellow. As I continued to study the rainbow, I couldn't help but think how alive God is! I could've stayed at that red light little longer, because the rainbow had transformed my entire mood! I could not stop smiling as I focused on it. I began to remember the promise that God made to all man kind after the floods of Noah that he would never distroy the earth by water again, and said to them he would put a bow in the sky as a reminder of this promise! How long ago was That? We are talking a promise made in the beginning of time, and God is still keeping that promise, even though many people don't appreciate it or even notice,God still keeps this promise. And that's good news any day of the week! Even on a Monday.

SHOW UP!

It is the first rule of thumb, In everything. We can't expect that anything will begin, be finished, or be successful if we don't show up! I was reading in Chicken soup for the Soul (The writers version)and a particular writer gave five rules of becoming a successful writer. They were SHOW UP, pay attention, tell your truth, do your best, and don't be attached to the outcomes. I thought these were all awesome and very true. However, I needed to direct most of my attention at this time to the first rule. SHOW UP!

We can talk about success and we can know exactly what to do, but none of it counts unless we actually do it, and in order to do it, We must first SHOW UP. We must keep our appointments; with ourselves, with others, and most importantly with God! And I'm not talking about hitting and missing, but every morning that you have strength and health in your body. Because it is consistency in showing up that will take you to your expected end, your Prize!

No worries, No responsiblites, No cares, No Time Keeping, Just Livin!

It's about that time again. (FAMILY VACATION, 2005 cruise)

PUSH IT!

Sweat pouring...Legs burning...Mouth wide open.....Oh my God I am SO tired! "PUSH IT, COME ON LETS GO, PUSH THROUGH IT" our instructor yells keep moving, don't drop it!'' I am pushing (I think), as hard as I can! (How is this woman 5 months pregnant and killing us?) As I looked into the intensity of her eyes and watched the stroke patterns of her feet and the up and down movement of her upper body I realized there was another level that she had found and she was able to rest in it. And I thought, if I'm ever going to get there I have to Push it! As I dug down deep I had to forget about my pain,that burning I felt that cried out "STOP GIRL!" I had to reach deep down into my spirit and my soul and pull out supernatural strength. It was no longer physical but Mental and Spiritual. Once I did this, I realized I had power I knew not of. "Wow! This is working" I'm a mad woman nothings slowing me down! I mean once I got into this "Push it" zone not only was I able to keep moving but I was able to keep up and match the instructors every move! I felt like I could conquer anything, I was on the bike directly in front of her and I stared her down as she yelled, "push through it, come on lets go!" and I was not intimidated, I thought "bring it on Baby", I got this. I felt pain.. But it did not matter I was looking for that prize of "Overcoming" Overcoming what? EVERYTHING!!! I didn't even want to get up that morning, I almost didn't make it out of bed, My stomach was cramping and aching, my chest was sore, not to mention other things that had me feeling beat down and tow up. But it didn't matter that I was hurting(that day). I had to prove to my self before I even got in that Spin class, that I could "Push It!" And Push through it I did. I learned that day that in all things I must stay in the fire, and let it burn because the more the fire burns, The more powerful, I become!

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

How much is enough? You pray, You encourage, You sacrafice, You pray some more, you encourage some more. But still they can't make it. Why can't I or anyone else get through to them. Why don't they used the power of God that dwells on the inside of them for strength. (could be that its malnourished? but whose fault is that?) It seems hopless and yet I know there's nothing too hard for God. I have my own things that I need to excel in, that I need to work on, that I need to perfect in God. I'm working out my own soul salvation with fear and trembling and it seems I'm never doing enough. (Our church is on the very brink of something super glorious) We don't have time for Satan, so we must fight! "Bare ye one anothers burdens" is at the force front of my mind. It doesn't matter how long, it doesn't matter how intense that help needs to be. I am commanded to treat the burdens of my brother or Sister in Christ as my own. (Lord, I must keep my self built up because its so hard especially when they seem to be compassing that same mountain over and over again, and I just thinkg What Else? Why can't they just get it? But I can't give up on them, I know they love God and I want to see them make it, But what else can I do differently? What else? Well, the more I think about it, there's a lot more I can do, I can dedicate an entire prayer session only for them....I can cry out as if it was my own soul at stake.....I can set aside a fast only for them and watch God do the rest Because the fact is we're no body's saviour, we can only do what God commanded us to do and hope...

BOY ARE WE GETTING GUTSY!


For the first time in my life ever, along with 13 other close friends and family members, I tried out for a GAME SHOW! Boy what an experience! Its amazing the things you "never" think of doing until someone challenges you to do so, and once you've done it you wonder why you hadn't tried it sooner? We cheer on other contestants and other peoples families from our living rooms while watching your favorite game show. We're praying, hoping and wishing that they go home with as much as money and prizes as possible! We're excited, frustrated and disgusted depending on the outcome as though we know these people personally! If they make a mistake or display no common sense we say "Boy he or she is dumb, how could they make such a horrible mistake" If that were me I would've done much better!" We judge the people and the show but never really consider auditioning for the shows ourselves. To most every day citizens its fairy tail land, just entertainment for us. We either don't have time, don't know how to go about it, or think "oh I'll never make it" But, every since I served as a supporter on deal or no deal for my sister-n-law as well as trying out for this New game show on Fox, I think completely different when I'm watching these shows. Its a lot harder than it looks at home! There is so much pressure and nervousness that sometimes you can't even think as you usually would. Things that you know you know, just seem to leave your mind!!!!!!!! Because there's actually a real risk on the line. You aren't risking anything at home in your living room, you're not under any pressure to lose or win more money???? So of course its easier for you to make a decision! But let me tell you. When I went to the first audition on Saturday I experienced a feeling like no other. I gained a new respect for people who try out for these shows, make it, and do well! As I began to go through the first round of auditions I was nervous because, I didn't know what to expect? I'M THINKING I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M AT AN audition?? FOR ANYTHING? THIS IS WEIRD! I knew no matter what I did or said, it was up to them. They knew what they were looking for and they had to see that in me. So what are they looking for? If I didn't learn anything else from my ambitious game show hopping, always making a television debut, Sister Cheryl Jackson, I learned that producers love people who are excited! They love people with personality and passion!PRAISE THE LORD, I'M IN LUCK, I'VE BEEN NATURALLY BLESSED WITH AN EXCITING PERSONALITY!!!!! : )))) Now, how much or how little I show was the question? So, I think... "I don't want to go into overkill and they think I'm insane and I don't want to hold back either as to short change my self(that would make me feel really bad).
So what do I do? Child, I didn't figure that out until I was standing directly in front of these people asking me to Go! And when it was over they told me they would be calling me back for round Two!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so happy... It worked! I can't believe it, it worked. CJ knows what she's talking about(here resume is obvious). At the round two audtions on Sunday, I was not as nervous. I went in there being who Chan was at the ceiling of her excitement, I didn't whole anything back! I was my self, when I'm really excited? And I shared with them as much as I could think of while being put on the spot. (and if they didn't like that it was going to be too bad because that's who I was and it was all I knew to give considering the lateness of the hour)But they were laughing and they seemed to like me, so I felt good about the audtion. Later My Sister Cheryl told me I did an awesome job and they did really like me. I felt even better, and thought WOW, even if I don't make it I did it and it went well! Yes! Because of this experience I don't think I'll ever be afraid to try anything else. Thanks SIS! (STAY TUNED FOR PARTS TWO,THREE,FOUR, AND MAYBE FIVE)! BECAUSE THEY'VE ALREADY SENT MY CRAZY HUSBANDS AUDTION TAPE, AND MY CRAZY FRIENDS AUDITION TAPE TO LA, AND ITS BEING VIEWED BY THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our Church, Our Charity, Our Friends and Family could be very Rich in the next couple of months!!!!!!!!! Go God, Go!!!!!!!!

LET THEM DO THEIR JOBS!

These truly are the last days, people are getting weary, or tired should I say of waiting on God. Their tired of doing things his way, and what he's ordained for their lives. They've received his blessings in the past they've testified of his greatness, because it was evident that it was through no strength of their own. But when times got hard, when trials came to prove them for too long they wanted out, they stopped believing and begin to point the finger. At who you ask? Everyone both themselves and especially at God's messengers. We've always lived in a world where people won't take responsibility for themselves. I'm getting sick and tired of people blaming their Pastors for their own spiritual down falls. When people are on the mountain top spiritually and everything seems to be going their way, God and his leader can do no wrong. They constantly sing the praises of the church because things are going pretty good for them, or even okay. But take heed when a man's spiritual state begins to go dim, they no longer feel the need to testify, they are negative, or even non responsive in services, they've forgotten all the things that God has done for them. They've forgotten the words of prophecy from the leaders that have gone forth and come true , now all of a sudden nothings right. Nothings true, every thing's a lie, because they can't get their way. All of a sudden its the leaders fault, that they can't make it. They even start to doubt that God's word is true. The more the Leader delivers the word the more they despise it and its messanger, and they begin to find fault in everything they do. This ministry that they've grown under, the ministry that they've been delivered under and taught the real word of God under, even understood it and saw it work in their lives; all of a sudden it doesn't' make sense anymore, and they come to the conclusion that this can't be true. Its not effective for them because their vision is abscured through faithless eyes! How dare you?!!! You who are guilty of this, You can't deny what you've experienced in a Holy and God fearing church. Nothing can take your experience away from you, but Satan if you listen to the lies that he plant in your minds. You can't deny what you've received from God or his leaders. It is not our job to decide what our Pastor is or isn't doing right. God's job is to Judge our Pastors, our job is to follow and obey. Of course no one is bound if a leader is not teaching holy living according to God's word. But you know the Gospel that is being taught has sent deliverance in your lives, your growth has been tremendous in times past. God has elevated you and put you in a place that you could not have gotten on your own. But because you've neglected your soul, everything is the leaders fault, "Oh if they would just do their jobs then I could serve God freely!"(you say) What have you been doing all this time?? Hush up! And let them do their jobs, you have your own job to do. Did God call you to be a Pastor? Has he given you this flock? If not, then do your own job, and let the Pastor do theirs because on Judgment day, you'll only be required to give an account for yourself and the Leader its congregation. God will judge his leaders. If you find that you are finding more fault in your ministry, always seeking to change something that just isn't right, Start searching yourself to see what's different inside of you. Turn that pointed finger where it should be, and take it off your leader if you know your leader to be Good, Holy, and one that loves God and his people! Stop blaming them and let them do what God called them to do.

I'LL MAKE IT...BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS

HARD/HEART ISSUE

Difficult Heart Issue:

I struggled some with what to name this entry, because I knew due to my own frustrations and confusion I could end up all over the place. I can't believe I'm even recording this in this blog because it’s really personal and I don't want to be judged wrongly for what I may say. But I've got to get it out, it may shed some light or help someone else find common ground in different areas of their life. So here goes!

I'm becoming very frustrated and very confused as to why My husband and I have not received our promise Child or Children yet? I know that some promises take longer than others and that there would be no need for faith if everything came to us as quickly as we asked or as quickly as it was promised. But waiting on the conception and the birth of these kids is really starting to become tiresome.(for me anyway) Darius and I have been married for almost 10 years and to my knowledge I have not once been pregnant. Sure, I know naturally speaking what problems could have prevented that. I've known for a while.

I'm a strong believer in what God can do! Nothing is too hard for him and if he can impregnate a virgin and send strength and conception to the womb of a 90 year old woman??? Come on? Why wouldn't I believe that he can bless me to conceive with NO HELP FROM THE DOCTORS. W hich is what I want more than anything. So I believe, which is all we're asked to do. Now, then there's the enduring faith, that long-suffering faith that says no matter how long it takes I'm gonna wait on the Lord. I feel I've done that, I've strengthen my self time and time again, I've stayed busy in the ministry, I've rejoiced with every single couple in that church that has had children and was not jealous, I was genuinely happy for them. I haven't worn out my Pastor with countless counseling sessions of why, why, why, and what's taking so long? I've just waited and talked with my spouse about it.

I convince my self that "Its just not my time yet, God's time is best and it is going to be something greater than what anyone could imagine" So I busy my self in the ministry and wait. Of course every single month when I get that awful visitor I'm reminded that the clock ticks on......Then God remembers me in various services and reminds me through our prophet that I will conceive and it will be soon! I am revived again!!! And then more time passes by and I think "that's okay…our timing is not his timing"...Then I get another reminder from the Prophet… Not many days hence and you will be giving us that testimony and I think yes! Here it comes, but also I’m thinking in the back of my mind.. "How many days from hence is that?" because not only am I waiting, others are watching me as well and asking me every other month. Anything yet? As they glance down at my belly? And I spin off my famous line, "You won't have to ask trust me." So I hold on to the words of the prophet, and the days of soon grow wider and wider. I think Lord how many days is soon to you? I know our timing is not the same but if you could at least give me big clue. I'm 31 years old. I have a lot of things going on in my life, and I deal with a lot. Sometimes I think well "Maybe you just aren't ready for kids, and God knows this better than I do?" Then I say, well thank you Lord and I press on. But then I do the big NO NO and say "well that couldn't be it, look at everyone else, they surely weren't ready for kids either and that didn't stop God from giving them children?" Then I shake my self once more and say, “God is a just God, He can't Lie.” He has no favorites.

“It must be us?” “We must be doing something to prolong this thing?” So I pray diligently and truthfully as I know how. I ask God to reveal if it’s us, and I hear nothing! Not from Him in my spirit or from our Pastor regarding that. So, I am definitely confused. I have no idea what's going on. I know these kids are coming but when? I look at the news and there is horror all around. Wars, horrible murders, unthinkable homicide acts, I mean everything the bible predicted would happen in the end times are happening right now! And on one hand I'm like "who wants to raise kids in this horrible world?"
And I think how long will I have my children 2, 6, 10 years? This world is so wicked, I feel he’s going to show up any day now?” But then I find my self still wanting my children. I feel that no matter how short the time I would've still experienced being a Mother to by-products of the love Darius, and I share for each other.

So as you can see I am in and out of weariness regarding this issue. I don't' know what to think, I'm confused at times, because I don't know how much longer, but I'd rather forget about it and be surprised, but that's hard to do considering the monthly reminders when I don't conceive. I could go to the doctors month after month and try to make something happen for my self but I really want to see God put those kids in there without me having to use infertility treatments, and I’d rather not deal with the stress that comes with that.

So if there’s anyone reading this that can get a prayer through to God pray for me! Sure I'm alright, I'm still happy, I'm a joyful person but for those moments of weakness I need someone else to be praying for me, besides me!

COME ON...DO IT FOR ME!


Our Pastor has been speaking a lot lately on becoming a servant. In this world the title "Servant" comes with a lot of negativity. No one wants to be seen as a servant or to be associated with lowliness, but they want to be seen as a high roller or some one of great status. Unfortunately, in America servants are not treated as they should be, in most cases they're looked down on because they choose to serve or maybe its the only job they can find at the time. But how blind are we? I was reading In the book of Genesis where Rebecca took it upon her self to serve an out of town King. And not only did she serve him she started serving the Camels he rode in on! Because of this act the King didn't see her are some lowly servant girl that was good for nothing but that. He didn't ask her to do this, and went why out of her way to serve him. This spoke very loud about her character and it proved that she was a very strong Woman. To be Humble means to be submissive, and in order to be submissive means you are a strong person. Because you are in control of your emotions and your flesh and many people can't say that. Unfortunately in America, and I"m sure in some other countries if you submit it sends the message of weakness or fear but this is not always the case! Anyone can lash out, anyone can degrade others to make themselves feel better anyone can boast or flaunt! But it takes a strong and kind person to be a submissive and to serve. Jesus showed this same kindness with his disciples when he offered to wash their feet. They forbid him to do it because of who he was but Jesus insisted. He said it is necessary that I wash your feet. I'm setting an example, what I do for you, you do for each other and he also told them they could have no part with him, if he did not do this! Needless to say they quickly had a change of heart. I'm beginning to learn more and more that what we do for others we do for God. It will be much easier for us to serve if we count it as a deed done unto the Lord. Now some people are easy to serve because they are sweet,caring, and giving, they have a great attitude.. so its not hard for most of us to serve people like this. But there are going to be people that we loathe serving because they expect it and look down on us for doing it. But I can hear God "saying come on! Can you not do it for me!" "I am the person that died for you, the person that is giving you eternal life, the person that's forgiven you time and time again. I love you, do it for me" And in seeing God and not the person so much, I believe we can be victorious. This will also help us to see people as God sees them. We are to love everyone as Christs does. By serving people it will help us to witness and minister to them, and even save some through our service. We probably can't see all the benefits, that serving others may have. But I know its doing us more good than we know! I'm convinced that it builds character, love, humility, and the ability to yield. Serving puts us in a greater light than we may realize and when we do it as unto the Lord, we can have joy in it! I pray daily that God helps all of us sto become natural Servants, because this is pleasing to Our Lord and Saviour...

I'm sorry, I know i've backslidden from writing into this blog. I've been very busy plus this blogger account has been acting strange I forgot my username and it won't allow me to change it. uggggggggh so frustrating! I'm tired I'll talk more tomorrow!