Church today was good. It started out with me being in pain and ended with me being in pain , physically that is. But Church was still good. I was asked to teach the infant and pre-k Sunday School class for the second week in a row. I really enjoy those kids they are all so wonderful and they know more than what many adults will give them credit for. As the kids begin to come in I sat in a chair against the wall and smiled and talked with other adults that were standing near by. I tried to appear normal but it was very hard. The pain in my lower abdomen was very distracting. It felt like stabbing, throbbing,aching pain and it was not letting up. It was hard for me to ignore it. I thought God how do I teach? How can I be me? How can I get up enough energy and physical strength to teach and play with these babies today? I’m in pain! But, I thought what else is new? I’m tired of being the sick chick and self pity isn’t pretty. So, I tried not to complain even though I’m sure it was probably obvious that I wasn’t my usual self. Class soon began, and as always God stepped in and gave me what I needed to do my job. The pain didn’t leave, and I was still very much aware of it, but the needs of those kids were greater than what I was experiencing in my body. After the class was over it was time to go sing with my praise team group. My lower abdomen screaming..as I headed towards the pulpit area and grabbed my mic. I fought to appear normal, the music started and once again, God gave me what I needed to make it through singing in praise and worship. The pain wasn’t gone, I was well aware of it, but the need of the congregation, and my own need to praise God was more important. The painful truth is, the world doesn’t stop just because you have a problem. So what do you do? You can’t stop operating in the world or within your calling because you are in pain, and that’s mentally, emotionally, financially, or physically. You simply have to pray and trust God. But even though you’re aware of this truth it’s hard not to throw up your hands and say okay? I’m done! But, I know I can’t do that? What will the outcome be? It’s not crystal clear yet why I was chosen for this but, I’ve been chosen. And if it’s going to help anybody I guess I’ll have to go through it. I ask for God’s mercy and Grace often with tears streaming down my face. I often feel hopeless (even though I know its not true). No one understands, and if they did, there’s nothing they could do to change my situation. This is obviously between Me, and God. I’m glad we are on good terms. :)